Learning to control anger, before anger controls you
Anger is a natural response of living beings to perceived threats or danger. It is a natural phenomenon and a healthy emotion if dealt with patience and rationality. It is perfectly normal to feel angry when one feels that they’ve been mistreated or wronged. However, anger becomes a problematic state when expressed in a way that can harm oneself or others. Like any other emotion, anger signals towards a situation that is upsetting for us. It is also characterized by animosity or hostility toward someone or something that one feels discontented with. As a result, our body releases adrenaline, muscles tighten , and our heart rate and blood pressure increase. Our senses tend to feel more acute. But excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other changes in our body make it difficult to think with rationality and harm our physical, emotional, and mental health to an extent which disrupts our decision-making and brings impulsivity.
Why is it important to manage anger?
Failing to manage your anger can lead to numerous unpleasant consequences like saying things that we may regret later, yelling at co-workers, friends, family, or subordinates, taking irrational decisions that can risk our future, developing health problems, or even resorting to physical violence. So it is extremely crucial to understand how to manage anger. Managing our anger doesn’t mean never getting angry or suppressing our anger. Instead, it entails developing healthy and constructive strategies to identify, cope with, and express anger. Anger management is a skill that should be learned by every individual since it will benefit them in every domain of life. There’s always space for improvement, even when one thinks they are completely in control of their anger. When left unchecked or ignored, angry feelings can lead to aggressive behaviour, like physically hurting someone or damaging some property which can call for legal consequences. Angry feelings also may cause you to withdraw from the world and turn your anger inward, which can impact your health and well-being. Hence it is better to start working on it before it is too late.
When can anger turn into Aggression?
Anger is a one of the many emotion experienced by people at different times. It is, in fact, a usual response to a threat and works as a defence mechanism. It can also be useful to motivate people to meet new challenges or make improvements for the better. However it is important for us to not confuse this emotion with aggression. While anger is a feeling/emotion, aggression is the behaviour or action taken that is hostile, destructive and/or violent. It can be physical assault, throwing objects, property damage, self-harming behaviours or verbal threats or insults. Many people become aggressive in response to a real or perceived threat or it may be a learnt behaviour that helps them get their needs met.
Recognise the warning signs
Recognizing the warning signs of anger at an early stage helps us to take steps to prevent anger from reaching the boiling point after which one can get aggressive. These warning signs could be physical like fastening of heartbeat, sweaty palms, palpitation and jitters or could be mental like brain fog and anxiety. Some may start clenching their fist, grinding their teeth or turning completely red. By recognizing these signs, we have the opportunity to take immediate action and prevent ourselves from doing or saying things that create bigger problems. Learning to pay attention to how we are feeling and will make us more aware onto our future responses. Hence, we might be able to control them.
Learning the right way to get angry
While research shows that feeling angry increases optimism, innovation, effective performance and, expressing it can lead to more successful negotiations, in life or on the job, it is very critical for one to learn the right way of getting angry and expressing it. The first step is to let others know that you are experiencing strong emotions and that communicating coherently is more difficult than usual. Apologize beforehand, not for your feelings or actions, but for the probable lack of clarity in how you’re going to communicate further. This will enable you to disarm the person and prevent them from becoming defensive in your response. When someone understands that you are uncomfortable and that the conversation is challenging for you, it increases the likelihood that they will approach you with empathy. You can then delve deeper into the real trigger behind your anger, and chalk out rational ways to deal with it in the future. Recognize the difference between events that you can change or control and those that are beyond your ability to control. Slowing down in such situations may also help as it prevents impulsivity and stops you from regretting on specific reactions later.
Need for acknowledging and accepting the ‘Different’
Research has shown that with modernisation blooming at an alarming pace, a lot of competitiveness has come into being. Human beings are constantly striving for power and success which often leads to extinction of finer emotions like kindness, understanding and patience. People have started growing intolerant of others who are ‘different’ from them in terms of class, status, personality, opinions, behaviour and thought process. Looking down upon people or impulsively reacting to their actions has not only made anger the most used emotion, but it has also created lack of patience and empathy in people. Hence, it is very important for us to acknowledge and accept the diverse nature of human race so that we can function without dominantly operating on emotions like anger, jealousy and aggressiveness and maintain harmony within ourselves as well as in the society.
